Saturday, October 24, 2009

I have not yet been home tonight

Home Tonight (ft. Colin Mutchler) - DoKashiteru

I'm sitting on my roof right now, wondering where the hell the day went. It seems like 5 minutes ago I was rolling out of bed, head pounding from yet another drunk night. I got up to make coffee, and the rest of the day is kind of a blur.

I actually don't remember most of the events from today, but I remember the feelings associated with them.

I recall, in the morning, feeling hazy. Everything passed by like time lapse photography. Actually, my entire day felt like that, but I digress.

There was a distinct feeling of hopelessness at one point. I don't remember why, but it was there. It must've passed, I suppose.

There was some elation in there. I think Rebecca was with me at the time, which would explain it. Rebecca always makes me feel happy.

I remember a stuttery feeling. It's tough to explain, but I felt stuck for a while. No sooner did it start, however, than it left.

Around 5 or 6 my moods got more abstract. I'd begin to feel like a photograph, or like a sound wave. I felt like clay, or I'd feel digital.

Now, though, I feel different. Sitting alone on my roof, music wafting out of my open window like an odor might, I feel like a human. More specifically, I feel like one human, swimming in a lake of many. I feel alone, but I can feel the existence of everyone. I know I'll never be alone.

[The music of DoKashiteru is licensed under Creative Commons, and can be found on his ccMixter page. Photo is from]

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